No picnic being a Dad...

 

Up at 3:30 am... couldn't sleep.  Been a common occurrence for many years now, caused mostly by dull aching pains punctuated by sharp dagger/needle pricks around my right hip and back.  I don't like sitting for long periods.

This stems back to the 2002 rear ender, and has been getting progressively worse as the years go by.

I climb outa bed hobble around to the living room, hoping to get some sleep on the couch and not bother the cats or wife.

As I'm laying there looking up at the bookcase, I think back to a month ago when little bitty Izzy, after climbing the ladder to the top as she often does, was rushing around eight feet off the floor on her 24' drag strip, and overestimating her traction, took an unintended leap off the end!

Izzy doing what cats do best.

I saw the tail end of that and was at her side within a couple seconds but she didn't seem any worse for the leap/fall.  It's only 8 feet and I read somewhere that cats have survived 10 times that jumping/falling off buildings. Cats have an uncanny ability to righting themselves and landing on their feet. In fact both Einstein and then later one of his daughters, Scribbles ended up in my neighbors 'yard' three floors down when they were young!

As I'm laying on the couch, remembering these things, I'm thinking to myself that being a Dad can be a thankless task.  After all, from the moment you hear the words "I'm pregnant, and it's not yours..." (just kidding) you enter a new world.

I've watched my own daughters who are now both in their mid thirties, with both pride and trepidations over the years.  We have covered a great deal of ground since they were born and always of course there is that underground fear.  My friends think I joke when I comment that having lived to fifty, the remainder are bonus years.  I actually believe that.

Things most definitely change once you have kids.  If you are a parent you'll understand what this means.  It's not so much a fear of myself getting lost in the desert or being hit by a car or having a heart attack... all three of witch have happened to me in my own lifetime, but a fear for them. 

Take Holly for example, my eldest.  We've often talked about her traveling spirit, sometimes into less than safe environments.  Bouncing around in the bed of a decrepit pick up truck in Central America, various countries in south Africa and backpacking for months throughout Europe as a teen. 

Much of my family thought I was a poor father for allowing these adventures, but truth be told, how can you expect your child to behave in a manner that contradicts your own?  That would be like telling them to stop smoking as you light up.

Anyway as I am trying vainly, to get comfortable on the couch, these thoughts are racing through my brain.  The age old juggling between what is good for them, when you should encourage and when to apply the brakes. 



Coco waiting impatiently for our flight to PEI  "Let's go Dad"

It's never easy being a parent. 

The last ten years I have spent as a second adult in my relationship with Brenda.  Her adopted daughter is now 17 and believe you me... she has been more than two fistfuls over the years.  Her defiance, attitude and actions border on the edge of a cliff oft times.  I say as a second adult because my input into parenting has been wholly unwanted.  That's the truth.  Sometimes I question what in fact my role is or if I even have a roll? 

Like the three cats, the three girls all have different personalities and of course we hope with age comes wisdom both for cats and kids, but regardless, and despite a parent's best efforts, a child can turn out a hundred ways.  It's often as much luck as skill... and unlike a motorbike... they don't come with instruction manuals.

Lisa, my younger daughter is now married and a parent herself.  She is realizing that it's become a whole new gig, lots of sleepless nights, feedings and changing of diapers.  Pretty much a thankless job, but if we are looking forward to it being easy, I have a piece of property in Florida that I can sell you cheap...

Don't get me wrong.  I am and have always been an involved Dad.  I love my girls, all three of them although there are times right!

Somewhere around 5:30, I realize that I did manage to get a little sleep, Tylenol helps. I was woken by Coco, my latest rescue cat that I found under the tarp of my Ascot 500 on my Phx patio 18 months ago.  She seemed to be saying to me... "dad, come to bed and keep me company."

 

My '82 Ascot 500

 

I did.