Say What?!

Being of the "Male" gender, and having many "male" friends, some of whom ride bikes, and some of whom don't... between and some might easily conclude, 'befuddles' us, there are several ongoing conversations that really have no point.



It's kinda like watching re runs of Seinfeld over and over. There really is no point to a bra for men, or having a girlfriend that resembles Jerry... or importing 5 Guatemalans having mistaken them for 'Cubans'... but it's funny nevertheless.

One of the favorite conversations that takes place amongst us all at regular intervals is in fact ongoing. It just goes from Rusty, to Tom, to me, to Randy, to Don, to Ron to me. Now I should point out lest you think this is some (clever?!) conspiracy, never... and I do mean Never do we all sit down around a picnic bench as a group and say... "hey, do you remember Jill...?" Contrary to what you may see on Family Guy, this doesn't happen, at least not among my circle of guys.

What Does happen is just this fluid, easy banter that flows along from one day to the next, between us 'men' like a lazy stream coming down from the Andes! Sometimes it meanders... and some times it washes away whole villages of adobe huts, taking us all with it downhill in the raging torrent dumping us unceremoniously on the tidal mudflats as crab bait.

As Men, there are few things we understand better than what we don't understand.

And when it comes to women....... we really have no clue.

Case in point... Unca Ronnie and I have been talking of late about, guess what...? That's right, women, girls, the fairer sex, she devils... call it what you want. This morning I open an overnight delivery from said Ronnie, which reads in part.

"Good luck figuring out the women thing."

Pretty simple statement right. Wrong.

Disregarding the fact that there have been several Gemini's in my life over the years, and everyone on the planet Neptune (Pluto or even Uranus!) knows that you're dealing with twins there, never knowing which one you are with from second to second. Sometimes this can be exciting... and sometimes it can be Hellish. Women in general, we all agree, possess some of these Gemini traits. In all fairness (and for the sake of my own health) I will add that not all women I have known are Gemini's or behave as such.

On the other hand, one thing is for certain... after raising two of them myself, and now working on a third... and having been partnered with many over much of my life as a Man, beginning with Janice Christman, (who's books I carried home from elementary school every day for several grades), I've known my share of girls/women.

I'm nearing retirement age and confident in my own intelligence and intellect... I will say that I have yet to "figure it out."

Does any of this matter?

Of course not, cuz all of us "men" love all of you "women" dearly, and we wouldn't change a thing... except maybe a little better understanding...


Reminds me of the joke an old Christian Biker told at one of the first rallies I attended, as we're munching on undercooked hamburger...

'There's this CB walking the beach in Malibu at sunset. He stumbles on a half buried lamp. Digging it out with his hands, he tries to read the tarnished inscription. Unable to, he rubs it with his leather jacket sleeve.

Out pops this incredibly haggard looking genie... "Thank you oh thank you, I've been in there for 10,000 years." says the genie.

Being a man well advanced in age and intelligence, the CB declares, "Hey... you're a genie."

The genie frowns.

"That means I get 3 wishes..." the biker says hopefully.

"Give me a break man, I've been in there for a long time, I'm pretty tired... I'll grant you one wish."

The biker, not wanting to spoil his only chance, thinks for a long time before answering.

"Hawaii." he finally blurts out, "I've always wanted to ride my Hawg to Hawaii, build me a bridge to Hawaii..."

"WHAT! You must be insane man, that's 3000 miles of open unforgiving Pacific ocean, there are huge storms, giant waves, fog so dense you wouldn't be able to see your nose, ships... BIG ships! No, no... a bridge is out of the question, it's impossible. You'll have to come up with something else."

Seeing the genie's point, the CB thinks some more. Thoughtfully he asks finally.

"Women, you know I have never been able to really understand women. Before I die, I would like to know what makes them tick, how they think..."

The genie frowns for a long while, obviously resigned in himself, finally answering softly to the waiting biker...


"Would you like a two lane or four?"